Saturday, April 9, 2011
For Men, Cheat Doesn't Mean Love
Psychologist Dr Sam J Buser, who is also the author of The Guys-Only Guide, said, usually women began asking to the cheating partner where this relationship going to. In fact, most men just want to clear an affair and did not want to bring the relationship into a more serious stage. There are a number of reasons which reinforce men have similar stance:
1. Reality proved that affair was never leads to long-term relationship
Some research shows, the affair almost never turn into a long term relationship. Only one of the 10 affairs which later turned into a serious commitment. Even if the relationship turned into a love story, this commitment ultimately ended in divorce. Why? This is because couples lose confidence. Couples who are committed after having an affair will not trust each other because it is based on previous experience that they ever had an affair.
2. Infidelity is a virtual relationship, rather than the real thing
Many men are leaving careers, children and families in pursuit of sexy women who become her cheating partners. But in the end, men do counseling with a professional to fix his messy life. Men realize that the affair did not just bring life increasingly targeted. The affair became an escape from the chaotic condition of marriage.
Dr. Buser said, while men do the counseling, then recommended by experts is to find a solution to marital problems. If there is no common ground to save the marriage, divorce is the answer, but continue relationships with friends having an affair does not necessarily become the next solution.
"Marriage and infidelity is like apples and oranges. In the affair, you do not communicate with parents, not paying bills together, and not raise a child together. you would not feel it until you marry her," said Dr. Buser.
3. Children will not approve the cheating spouse
Men tend to not continue the affair into a committed relationship because he believed his children would not receive his cheating spouse. Dr. Buser said, you could never hide the affair from the children forever. As children get older, they will read the changes to their parents life. Rarely see parents making out is a sign that a child could understand. Children who are growing up can also identify signs that parents no longer have sex. Girls also tend to be difficult to forgive a father who was having an affair.
"The girl will feel betrayed if knowing his father had an affair," said Dr. Buser.
If he can not continue the affair to a long-term relationship, you, as women, would also have the same power.