Monday, April 25, 2011
3 Reasons You Should “Hitting” First
When you was a teenager, you may be got warned by your mother, that you should not act aggressively towards male friends. Interpreted an aggressively act means you approached him first, or maybe you often hangout only with male friends. Even as a woman, you are deemed inappropriate if you show that you are interested in a man. You must wait until the man took the initiative to approach you.
In fact, you can not always rely on a man to do the initiative. Many things which is the reason why a man does not want to approach first, so that would be better if you are doing initiation. Here are some reasons outlined Theo Pauline Nestor, author of How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir of Starting Over, why you should approach first:
1. He is not smart flirting
There is a skill that is required to initiate a relationship, flirting, for example. Then there are other necessary skills to build relationships that have lasted. The man you seek may be very reliable to build relationships, but he was not the kind of guy who likes to tease here and there. When you force yourself to tease, a man like this would make you fear. Therefore, if you knew he was not gifted flirt, you are the one who must take the initiative.
2. He felt a little intimidated
Often people misinterpret your attitude, and trigger-spreading "bad news" about you. For example, you hear a friend forbid you approach your target man, saying, "Do not try to approach Alice. Shee's not cool, man." Or, "she was quiet, she's aggressive, she only wants the same rich," and so forth. Speech that is misleading as it certainly will make you uneasy, because it does not fit with yourself. Unfortunately, negative speech is more easily recorded in the minds of anyone, not least the man. As a result, he felt intimidated, and reluctant to approach you.
If you know this, do not hesitate to approach him. Show that you are not like people are saying.
3. Been treated poorly in the last relation
Maybe you'll think, if a man was seriously want to be with you, he should be more trying to approach you. But before you consider it less daring, try to find out what happened to the relationship in the past. Did he ever rejected by sadistic, had undergone a very long time but ended sadly, anything that makes he hesitate to start dating again.
You know what, sometimes the first aproach it does not always mean you have to ask him out. You can start with something easy, like a call, or ask him to chat. Make him feel comfortable with yourself, and know exactly who you are. After that, you need not even ask him go out first.