It's normal to occasionally disagree with your spouse. Whether it relates to home-based tasks, financial calculations, or even a dinner menu selection. Even for couples angry over certain things were allowed. As long as they do not say things that make it hurt and lead to divorce or breakup. Expressing resentment thing reasonable and permissible, because it is one form of communication. Make sure the ways you communicate is for deepening love and connection.
Six steps can help you and your partner to communicate better and more closely with each other:
1. Being an active listener
Most couples do not want to hear what their partner said when they are fight, because they are busy thinking about how to deny their partners Before you begin to argue, agree to take turns. One of you may speak, while the other still and listen without interrupt. After each talk, show that you understand the feelings of the hearer.
2. Complain without blaming
Use the word calls to yourself when you ask him to do something. For example, you want him to put his dirty clothes in laundry basket, as long as he is always put at random. You can say, "I got trouble if you put dirty clothes haphazardly. Can you help me please, every time there's dirty clothes, please put in the basket of dirty clothes?" Avoid blaming words, like, "Why do you always put your dirty clothes everywhere?"
3. Admit your mistakes
Take responsibility for your contribution to the problem, although it is not easy. For example, "I should talk to you about the price of that sofa before buying. Can we talk how do we get to pay the couch?" Trying to dodge, "I'm spending overpriced, really," or attack, "You're spending too expensive, too! See that flat screen television!" will only hurt each other and trigger emotions.
4. Forget the past
When you are in a feud with him, try to be in that topic. Tilting the old topics will only make him upset, not to mention will make it is defensive. Plus, it extends to other topics will only make it difficult to reach a resolution.
5. Time out
When the discussion is not going well, most couples tend to keep fighting, which in turn will aggravate the situation. Next time, if you're arguing, try to ask break time for a moment, whether it be 15 minutes or 5 days, until you are quite calm and could think clearly.
6. Show gratitude
Every day, look for opportunities to recognize and appreciate what your partner has been done correctly. This is better than looking for mistakes. Saying things like, "Thanks for dinner, honey. Egg omelet you do the most good," will help warm the atmosphere and strengthen the relationship. This sort of thing will become easier for you and he cope with conflict.